On the Edge of the Unknown

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I couldn’t find an appropriate photo for this post (and don’t have enough inspiration to take one at the moment).

But yeah, I may have been more annoying than usual. I will admit that.

Lately, I’ve been edgy, impatient, more anxious then usual. I have a desire for instantaneous answers. As if I’m trying to secure some sort of certainty, trying desperately to tie paces of what I know to the trees with the prospecting hurricane of change.

This is me on the edge of the unknown. Filled with uncertainty, it feels like the end, even though people may assure me it’s a new beginning (although they actually haven’t thus …Read More →

An Open Letter to Loneliness

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Dear Loneliness,

I know I’ve tried to pretend that you don’t exist. How I tried to pretend the you weren’t there in the shadows as me and Solitude spent increasing time together. I tried to believe that I was invincible to such human desires, as if I had evolved beyond that need.  I tried to believe that you would not be around even as I constantly hang out with your fraternal twin, Solitude.

But you were. I wouldn’t mind it if you occasionally stop by with Solitude every so often, but your lurking presence is grating. I’m not sure what to do with you, or me for that matter.

I’m …Read More →

Confessions of an (Weirdo) English Major

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That’s right. I’m an English major and I have some confessions

  1. I’m a horrible speller, and I’m not that great with grammar. But I’m a horrible speller.
  2. I’m not good at writing by hand
  3. I’m not a dictionary. (I remember the “general feel” of the word, the meaning but not the actual word! Very annoying!)
  4. I often skim when reading. I’m not even sure if read, I am skimmer.
  5. I don’t remember little details unless I find them greatly amusing or fascinating

Yet I have a B+ average (I occasionally get A-s too). It’s not great. It’s not bad. I think B+ is roughly 80% at my university in English (History is a bit more lenient in regards to percentages but I still often get B+s). I’m currently finishing my last few classes. So I’m probably not that crappy in respects to performance….

So I have some explanations for these confessions.

Running into the Void

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Squirrel running into the shadows

There’s not much to say.

Just hightailing it into the void. The darkness. Without doubt. Without fear.

When the dark is once again cool, a sanctuary from the harsh light.

Where everything will be okay once again.

I wish.

Squirrel!

Note: I know it says read more but this all she wrote. I don’t quite have the excerpt thing under control. …Read More →

An Open Letter to Solitude

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Dear Solitude,

You’re my only true friend.  The only friend who understands me and is always with me. You are the only one that I truly know, that will go wherever I go. The only one that will always be with me.

I know you’ll never leave me, Solitude. That you’ll always be there for me whether it be at noon or in the light of the moon.  That you’ll always embrace me whenever I need you. It doesn’t matter where I am. Whenever I need you, you”ll be there.

People will come and go, only momentarily connecting. They will come. Then they will go. Sometimes in the background. Sometimes in the foreground. …Read More →

The Void

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The void is overbearing, looming ahead of me. I don’t know what to do. It is ever-approaching and I feel utterly unprepared for what is to come ahead. Whatever it is.

I started my last semester this week. It’s a mixture of relief – the ending of the draining, droning rhythm of school. You go to lecture. You read. You listen. You study. You write. Then you wonder about your grade.  And of course, leaping from one panicked deadline to another. But all and all, it’s familiar.  That fact, for the moment is the most important. Stagnancy is easy to come by because it’s hidden under the guise of familiarity.

But I don’t …Read More →