Flickers


Flickers from Jen on Vimeo.

There’s not that much to say right now…

Flickers

I’m drifting between shadows and light
darting from one to the other
retreating to the darkness
chasing the light

but it comes too fast, and I too slow
though I may be enamored in its splendour
mesmerizing
but ungraspable

the light is too revealing anyway
exposing all that is wrong
and little that feels right

running back to the shadows
into the darkness
where the light does not burn
and does not shine

either way I can’t see
except for the light dancing
in the shadows
optimism glimmering
within

flickers of   [note: not listed See the rest of the post →

Another Year, Another Summer

Golden spot

And so, summer is here.

It used to be a time of celebration.  No school. Fun field trips (I never took holidays…and evidently I may never will on a regular basis). As a teenager, hanging around the barn a little more often (I was never quite the barn rat – well, maybe I was for a few weeks before I got “laid off” lol). I was always more of a winter person though. I’m not sure why exactly but I never liked the heat all that much.

But now summer seems to mark the ending of another academic year. The academic year that never was.

What’s worse than a has-been? See the rest of the post →

A Window to My Life

Window to my Life

This is what my life looks right now. This is the window to my future.

Everything ahead is a mass of blurred grey and other colours and the rain is all I see. The rain that never ceases.  The rain the blurs vision. The rain that just makes you wet, cold and grumpy.

I can’t see the future. The future that I imagined, the future that I dreamed for myself – is just that. A thought. A dream. No matter how big or small, realistic or unrealistic.  Meanwhile, nothing is moving. Or everything is moving. In both ways. Good and bad. All at the same time, perhaps erring more to See the rest of the post →

On the Cusp of Collapse and Coming Together

Everything is of the verge of falling apart. And everything is on the verge of coming together.

But I feel the collapse imminent. It’s like what WILL happen if nothing happens. What will happen if I don’t stop it.  Somehow.

Yet, there’s hope of greater changes. I guess. Maybe one day soon, I’ll have a job (or two). Maybe one day soon, I can move out. Maybe one day soon, I can be more involved with horses and riding.

But I don’t know. There’s somehow that maybe the first two things may happen. But I don’t know when and I don’t know how.

I have been a bit more successful See the rest of the post →

Wading in Thick Water

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I’m wading.

But the water is thick and the current is strong. Stronger than blood, pulsating and giving life. But here at the shore, it is much the same. The tides may come and go but it’s as normal as the sun rising and falling, back into the depths of the horizons from where it came.

I stay close to the shore because I am too afraid to venture further into deep water. I fear that if I venture further, the  current would  sweep me up and pull me underwater. Always on the verge on drowning before I would give in and flow with the current and never returning to See the rest of the post →

Brutally, hilariously honest* answers to job interview questions

*some details regarding the company are made up. As well as the persona to an extent…parts of me are there for sure but not all… (in real life I am near fixated on weaknesses…but for this purpose, I am much more arrogant haha!)

  1. Tell me about yourself – use key skills needed for job –

I like purple, ponies and pacing annoyingly back and forth and round and round. I am lazy and ineffective but an effective weirdo. I can be either frustratingly passive or extremely demanding.I am also good at getting right in other people’s way at the most inconvenient time.

  1. What interested you about the position

I need See the rest of the post →

Things I learned from photographing at a horse show

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Things I learned from photographing at a horse show (casually, I am no pro….yet lol)

1) You cannot catch everything. They are moving too fast for you to zoom in and be there at every step. (Thus, if you do want everything you’ll need multiple people to catch everything)

2) Use the sequence shooting/continuous shooting mode. That way you’ll have several photos fractions of a second part and can chose which ones you like.

3) Prefocus so you don’t have to worry about the autofocus thinking. If you exposure controls are a bit clunky (like mine), use a auto or semi-automatic mode. You will not be able to fix the See the rest of the post →