Existing: Rhythms of Days

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Each day leads to the another day, seamlessly flowing into another as time somehow marches by.

That used to disturb me.  It used to bother me that I was getting older (I’m now 25) but not really achieving anything. I still live at home. I’m still not independent. Forget a career, I never had a job ever and well….I don’t know. I still don’t know how I’m going to afford my expensive hobbies (why expensive hobbies?! Grrr!). But for the time being, I guess it is not meant to be….

Those things haven’t changed. They haven’t changed at all. But I’m somehow less disturbed by it. I’ve found steps towards See the rest of the post →

Horses from 2009-2014

Horses 2009 to 2014 from Jennego on Vimeo.

I don’t canter THAT much but for some reason it seems like a lot of footage is of canter… Also the jump here was the first jump since 2008! (I don’t usually jump because I am a chicken). Also disclaimer: there is a giant eye in this lol! :-P I don’t find it freaky….

The footage came from a variety of sources hence the highly variable quailty. It’s also not chronological because I don’t know….lazy editing :-P . Maybe another time.

Yes, the Tony is the SAME Tony. He’s a magical colour changing grey horse! (He’s probably white now…)
Oh and yes, the See the rest of the post →

New Years Resolution 2015

  1. Organize my photos/videos into monthly folders this year (unless it’s a project) in hopes that I’ll be able to find my stuff more easily.

That’s it. I can’t think much beyond this month at the moment.

I’m doing 2 online photo courses this month (one free MOOC and one an xmas gift) and both are only 1 month. I had bigger goals last year but…I’m sort of doubting that too…

But seriously, how the hell is it 2015??!! I swear it was 2010 not too long ago!!

2014: My Year in Photos

Sometimes it has a lot to do with what I’m doing, sometimes it doesn’t.  A few are personal, most have probably been seen before. 2 photos per month seem to show the best. Well, except I wanted to stick a snow photo in November but….oh well. Some months I had a lot of photos to choose from, others, less so.

2014.  It was weird.  This was  the first full year out of school. This is a full year in limbo, with very little structure.  There were quite a few highs but there were also a few somewhat disastrous things and lows.  Some things proved way more complicated/harder then it seemed. See the rest of the post →

Of Christmas Past

So, now at New Years Eve, Christmas is over once again.

I used to like Christmas. I used to eagerly await the decorations, the lights, the stockings, the presents and fervently wish for snow where the green Christmas is the norm. But now it seems that Christmas just another day, perhaps another family gathering at the most.

I have memories of decorating the Christmas tree a few weeks before Christmas – hauling that increasingly ancient fake tree with permanent tinsel, putting it together and than decorating haphazardly with  blinking and non-blinking lights, actual decorations and ugly childhood  decorations. I have even fonder memories of sitting in my grandparents’ living room See the rest of the post →

Falling over the giant step

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I did it.
Last week I just tried taking one of the seemingly huge metaphorical steps. And sort of crashed through it.

But my coping skills are relatively low and I struggled to keep myself sane during that time. I spent the last last half of the previous week fretting about a possibility (the phone possibility), the first half of that week freaking out and the last half of that week in some sort of weird zone.

After that , it was like my brain melted and I couldn’t deal with anymore anxiety. At all. Plans for Saturday fell apart when I flatly refused to go beyond my comfort zone See the rest of the post →

Not Impossible (Schoolgirl Days)

When I think to things that once seemed impossible but became impossible was integrating into regular classes in grade 9.

I have been in social development programs all through elementary school. I had some integrated classes in elementary school (usually a once or few times per week thing) but I don’t recall any of them were wildly successful. The worst one was when I was supposed to be a mentor for a younger class. That didn’t go that well and I’m not sure why they thought it would.

For high school, I was in Pacific Storm Social Development at Sir Charles Tupper Secondary. When I was in grade 8, we See the rest of the post →